The Memories of the scents of Sagebrush and Juniper pervade my consciousness as I have been recapitulating my perceptions as one is wont to do in a reflective middle age. These are the scents of both childhood and a true love of my past. So I get my Chinese Zodiac daily prediction today:
Wow! never had some social horoscope hit the mark so darned well and accurately, its spooky. Well now, I have already decided to move back to my old cabin in the mountains, my own hokey walden pond. I don't need to sneak away, there is no one to miss my presence. But as an experiment of sorts, I left the marauding ranks of facebook. I found that I will not be missed, nor talked too, if I am not present on that great bastion of meaningful interaction, no matter what the protestations of 'I don't really hang out that much on facebook'. haha. Everybody hangs out there, including the popes cute little dog. So it pleases me in some bizarre manner to see I don't have to go to far to disappear, merely a change of cursor positioning. So, going to the mountains isn't really disappearing, they can't find me either way, so it is a sojourn and return to a different quality of personal life. My grandma once said, if you lay down with dogs, you will get fleas. From this i extend my extrapolation to mean, if I persist in hanging out and communicating with persons that cannot, or will not, live to a higher standard- I may end up adopting the same spiritually barren mind space, and I could end up treating people like that myself, which would just make me gag. One can put up with a lot of craparoonies sometimes in personal and worldly interactions, that goes with our modernity and less authentic way of being with each other as people. But if I think i am approaching acting in the same way- oy! Time to vacate living a shared experience of less substance, and get back to myself. I need not worry, indeed I need to trust my own process. There will be no hurt feelings outside of myself, for I am having my experience off of facebook. So I need not worry about the future- it is clear, clean, and won't have the detritus of the outer world, thankfully that same lack of presence, also doesn't extend any energy into this, the real world i live in. So I have in essence, already moved, tho yet I have not packed the truck. And so I smell sagebrush and juniper, and the crispness of truth and reality in the solitude and quiet moan of coming winter wind. Now I smell these things, and realize that what used to feel like being isolated, is the smell of real reality, and my mind, no longer running space for people that have become mental abstracts, is coming to a calmer, inwardly focused acceptance of my uniqueness and desire to meet the world sensorial as my grandpa did, mourning the dying of love, and celebrating the birthing of self sufficiency without emotional need from traditional sources of nurturing, with glorious nature as the backdrop to my perceptions, and my dialog with The Spirit That Moves Thru Things.
And with that, i remember the taste and scent of mahogany leaf tea, in ceremonial sweats, cleansing the soul and body. And look forward to the snow for the first time in many a year.
